Friday, October 24, 2008

SiLLy Me~

I have a HUGE problem of jealousy...If i could rate my jealousy meter, i think i got a perfect 10...I know it's pathetic n stupid..But i just can't help it..Arghh...The stupid-thing is already blended well in my blood. It's not like i haven't try to control, i did..and i sux! i think it's soo not me when i try to deny my true feelings.. the problem is, i'm a bile-xpuas-ati-ckp-terus-terang kind of when i try to hide my jealousy(konon2 nk control), my heart throbbed extraordinarily, my head feels like going to explode and it really drives me crazy.

i'll go crazy over the littlest things.......things like photos, msg, comments yada yada..mind u, every single thing! i wonder y..
i'm sick of it. really. but the things keep happening. let me give u an example.. i once get mad over a girl's pic.. just some girl which is considered as a friend..yeah rite. 'some girl' with the big eyes, attractive, sexy n send messages with all type of gewdikness. urh..puhh-liiss~(use ur jealousy tone,ok)
on the positive side of thinking,(when i try to control my jealous-ness ), i would say something like "hey, she's just a friend. just let them be"
but on the negative side, which is 100% me, i would say something like, 'what the..' n i'll be in a "rase-geram-mcm-nak-geget-org" mode..yeah, that's me.

what make it worse, i won't forget about every little thing that once made me upset..i have this kind of kuat-daya-ingatan ability *doesnt apply to my studies,ok*
n i'll remember her, pay her a visit every now n then *at fs* n keep refreshing those memories n emo. urgh..pathetic, don't u think?

a guy friend of mine once said "i dont think any guy can tahan with your jealousy"

but this jealousy-thingy only 'active' towards the person that i care of...pity my bf. for having someone like me as his gf.. :(

so the conclusion is..

"do not worry if i get jealous..but start worrying when i stop being jealous.coz the love is not there anymore~"